The Expert is a short funny video that shows how hard it is for some specialists to fit into the corporate world.
I’m certain that many of you have unfortunately experienced something like this… I know I definitely have 😉
The Expert – Short Funny Video Transcript
0:00: Our company has a new strategic initiative to increase market penetration, maximise brand loyalty, and enhance intangible assets.
0:08: In pursuit of these objectives, we’ve started a new project —
0:11: for which we require 7 red lines.
0:14: I understand your company can help us in this matter.
0:16: Of course!
0:17: Walter here will be the Project Manager. Walter, we can do this, can’t we?
0:22: Yes, of course.
0:23: Anderson here is our expert in all matters related to drawing red lines.
0:26: We brought him along today to share his professional opinion.
0:30: Nice to meet you! Well, you all know me.
0:32: This is Justine, our company’s design specialist.
0:36: We need you to draw seven red lines.
0:39: All of them strictly perpendicular; some with green ink and some with transparent. Can you do that?
0:46: No. I’m afraid we —
0:47: Let’s not rush into any hasty answers, Anderson! The task has been set and needs to be carried out.
0:51: At the end of the day, you are an expert.
0:53: The term “red line” implies the colour of the line to be red. To draw a red line with green ink is —
0:58: well if it is not exactly impossible, then it is pretty close to being impossible.
1:02: What does it even mean: “impossible”?
1:04: I mean, it is quite possible that there are some people, say suffering from colour blindness,
1:08: for whom the colour of the lines doesn’t really make a difference.
1:10: But I am quite sure that the target audience of your project does not consists solely of such people.
1:15: So in principle this is possible.
1:19: I’ll simplify.
1:21: A line as such can be drawn with absolutely any ink.
1:24: But if you want to get a red line, you need to use red ink.
1:28: What if we draw them with blue ink?
1:30: It still won’t work. If you use blue ink, you will get blue lines.
1:37: And what exactly did you mean, when you talked about the transparent ink?
1:40: How to better explain?
1:42: I’m sure you know what “transparent” means?
1:44: Yes, I do.
1:45: And what a “red line” means, I hope I don’t need to explain to you?
1:49: Of course not.
1:50: Well… You need to draw red lines with transparent ink.
1:55: Could you describe what you imagine the end result would look like?
1:58: C’mon, Anderson! What do we have here, kindergarten?
2:01: Let’s not waste our time with these unproductive quarrels.
2:05: The task has been set; the task is plain and clear.
2:07: Now, if you have any specific questions, go ahead!
2:11: You’re the expert here!
2:13: Alright, let’s leave aside the colour for the moment.
2:16: You had something there also relating to perpendicularity?..
2:20: Seven lines, all strictly perpendicular.
2:23: To what?
2:26: Erm, to everything. Among themselves.
2:30: I assumed you know what perpendicular lines are like!
2:32: Of course he does. He’s an expert!
2:35: Two lines can be perpendicular.
2:36: All seven can’t be simultaneously perpendicular to each other.
2:41: I’ll show you.
2:45: This is a line, right?
2:49: And another one. Is it perpendicular to the first line?
2:57: Yes, it is perpendicular.
3:00: Wait, wait, I’m not done. And a third one: is it perpendicular to the first line?
3:06: Yes, it is! But it doesn’t cross the second line. They’re both parallel.
3:12: Not perpendicular!
3:16: I suppose so.
3:17: There it is. Two lines can be perpendicular —
3:21: Can I have the pen?
3:42: How about this?
3:48: This is a triangle.
3:49: It’s definitely not perpendicular lines.
3:53: And there are three, not seven.
3:57: Why are they blue?
3:58: Indeed. Wanted to ask that myself.
4:01: I have a blue pen with me. This was just a demonstration —
4:04: That’s the problem, your lines are blue. Draw them with red ink!
4:07: It won’t solve the problem.
4:09: How do you know before you’ve tried?
4:10: Lets draw them with red ink and then let’s see.
4:12: I don’t have a red pen with me, —
4:13: but I am completely certain that with red ink the result will still be the same.
4:19: Didn’t you tell us earlier that you can only draw red lines with red ink?
4:22: In fact, yes, I’ve written it down here!
4:24: And now you want to draw them with a blue ink. Do you want to call these red lines?
4:29: I think I understand. You’re not talking about the colour now, right?
4:33: You’re talking about that, what do you call it: per-per, dick-dick —
4:37: Perpendicularity, yes!
4:38: That’s it, now you’ve confused everyone.
4:41: So what exactly is stopping us from doing this?
4:46: Just ignore it!
4:47: We have a task. Seven red lines. It’s not twenty; it’s just seven.
4:52: Anderson, I understand; you’re a specialist of a narrow field, you don’t see the overall picture.
4:58: But surely it’s not a difficult task to draw some seven lines!
5:01: Exactly. Suggest a solution!
5:03: Any fool can criticize, no offense, but you’re an expert, you should know better!
5:10: OK. Let me draw you two perfectly perpendicular red lines, —
5:15: and I will draw the rest with transparent ink.
5:18: They’ll be invisible, but I’ll draw them.
5:21: Would this suit us?
5:24: Yes, this will suit us.
5:26: Yes, but at least a couple with green ink.
5:28: Oh, and I have another question, if I may.
5:31: Can you draw one of the lines in the form of a kitten?
5:34: A what?
5:35: In the form of a kitten.
5:36: Market research tells our users like cute animals. It’d be really great if —
5:42: Look, I can of course draw you a cat.
5:45: I’m no artist, but I can give it a try.
5:47: But it won’t be a line any more. It will be a cat.
5:49: A line and a cat: those are two different things.
5:51: A kitten. Not a cat, but a kitten.
5:53: It’s little, cute, cuddly. Cats, on the other hand —
5:58: It doesn’t make a difference.
5:59: Anderson, at least hear her out!
6:01: She hasn’t even finished speaking, and you’re already saying “No!”
6:04: I got the idea, but it is impossible to draw a line in the form of a cat…ten.
6:10: What about a bird?
6:15: So, where did we stop? What are we doing?
6:17: Seven red lines, two with red ink, two with green ink and the rest – with transparent.
6:21: Did I understand correctly? — — Yes.
6:23: Excellent! In which case that’s everything, right?
6:26: Oh, oh, I almost forgot, we also have a red balloon.
6:28: Do you know if you could inflate it?
6:34: What do I have to do with balloons?
6:37: It’s red.
6:38: Anderson, can you or can you not do this? A simple question.
6:42: As such, I can of course, but —
6:43: Excellent. Organise a business trip, we’ll cover the expenses, —
6:47: go over to their location, inflate the balloon.
6:52: Well this was very productive, thank you all!
7:08: Can I ask one more question, please?
7:10: When you inflate the balloon, could you do it in the form of a kitten?
7:16: Of course I can!
7:17: I can do anything, I can do absolutely anything.
7:23: I’m an expert!
Have you been put in this situation before?